Maimuna Camara
1. What are goals? Goals are something you are aiming for. Somewhere you may see yourself in a couple of years from now. In society people set certain standards for themselves in order to be successful. The dreams people have written down are where they want to be. Something they make efforts towards in order to strive for success. I am very determined to graduate from LaGuardia community college with a nursing degree.
2. First I have to ask myself, who can I speak to about the nursing program at LaGuardia? What is the grade point average I need to meet, in order to get accepted? How can I get into the nursing program? By the summer 2012 I expect to have nothing but A's and B's in all my classes, with a grade point average of 4.0. I would have to plan ahead in order to achieve these requirements. How can I go about getting only A's and B's in my classes? Being on time to class can be a start, and not being absent unless it is an emergency. Not only have that, also pushing myself to stay focused in class. Meeting deadlines for assignments given, as well as doing well on exams. Speaking up in class and sharing my ideas would also be helpful, making friends and discussing activities to better understand the work. Also learning from one another is equally important to me, as well as getting good grades. I refuse to be a failure, because I want to be something in life. I always tell myself "I’m one step closer to my dream." This quote keeps me motivated and going
3. Even-though there may be situations in my life that can cause me to stress and slack in class. I may have a lot of things to do in one day, every day of the week. For example I attend school, and then go to work after. I never really have the time for social life or activities. Furthermore I would have to mange my time better, in addition I may not understand the work that is given to me so I would go to a resourceful person or place. My biggest challenge would be with Math class. I have to be able to pass and get through math 095, and 099, also passing the math assessment with a descent grade. I know this will be a big struggle for me because I was never good at math since I was in middle school. Math is far by the worst subject for me ever. However I cannot, and will not, let that affect my grades. I will learn the concept of math and be good at it by the end of this summer.
4. Once I'm in the nursing program, I must continue to do excellent work. In order for me to be successful I have to think like a nurse, and then I will be even closer to my dream. Of course I would have to do double work in order to remain in the nursing program. Not only will I prepare for every class by review my notes, also spending more hours studying. I plan to have the mentality of a nurse, because knowing that I will achieve and succeed in this goal. Staying positive and motivated is the key to success; furthermore it will help me to stay strong as a person. Becoming a pediatric nurse is something I dreamed of being since I was twelve years old. Just me making a child smile or making them feel better, made me feel good about myself. My fiancé always told me I was really good with kids, the way I comfort them and the care I show. Achieving this goal will change my life for the better from different aspects. I will be a much better person in life, not that I'm not already.
5. Becoming a nurse will make my parents proud of me. They never really had been to college or school being born and raised in The Gambia, a small country in Africa. So therefore they had the mind set of getting married having kids and being a family, and religion. On the other hand while I was born and raised in New York I wanted a different life for myself then, my parents. So right there and then I knew they were disappointed in me. My parents knew how important it was for me to go college and achieve this dream of mines. They believe going to school was important, but they did not think it was more important than marriage. Not only will I show them that the life I have plan for myself is okay and me being a nurse will benefit them also. I must and I will prove to the people who gave me the benefit of the doubt. Working with kids will help me better understand them and
knowing how deal with them patiently.
6. A year from now I should be done with classes and heading towards graduation by summer 2013. Then heading to Suny Canton to further my education as a pediatric nurse. Not only will I excel at Canton, I will also develop new learning abilities. I plan to receive my bachelor degree in nursing. No matter how long it may take me to receive this degree I will never give up.
7. When siting goals there are certain steps that are required in order to be successful. Such as developing new skills and improving old skills. Making changes towards bad habits and developing better ones. Goals can be short term, others are medium to long term, and some have specific direction to achieve them. I plan to graduate from Laguardia Community College with a nursing degree. So I will not only meet the requirements to get into the nursing program I will be the best nurse student ever. Nothing or no one will prevent me from being something in life. I will become a pediatric nurse no matter what it takes or how long it may be, my dream my goal they will be achieved.
Alexandra I need help with my Intro #1, body paragraph #6 which you can see is incomplete and my conclusion #7. Feel free to look at anything you may think needs fixing.
ReplyDeleteMuna,
ReplyDeleteIntroduction:
-I think it’s good; however I think that if you will make the introduction more concrete to your goal it will make it more clear to the reader and much easier to understand what you will exactly inform them about.
-Your thesis statement is clear but it’s not measurable. You might want to add a specific year that you want this goal accomplished by (You do specify it somewhere at the end of the paper, but I think that if you place it in the introduction it will make more clear and more measurable).
-You might want to add a sentence or two that will map out your essay. As I reader I could not predict what the next paragraphs will be talking about.
Paragraph 6:
-I personally think you should just pull a sentence or two from this paragraph and put it in your conclusion, because this paragraph does not relate to your goal. Unless your goal of becoming a pediatric nurse would have been present in your introduction. And if you will consider to change your goal to a more specific goal, then you might also want to add some more info to the paragraph and place it between current paragraph 4 and paragraph 5. It will make it flow better.
Conclusion:
- I like your conclusion. Is straight to the point and it does refer back to your thesis.
Overall suggestions
(all of them apply to all paragraphs from introduction to conclusion, except if specified)
- You might want to double check your details in paragraphs 4 and 5, ans see if you could make those details refer stronger to the topic sentence
- Topic sentences sound good, except in paragraph 3, it seems to be an incomplete sentence
- Look for incomplete sentences
- Re-check your punctuation usage
- Re-check your past/present tense usage
- Look for places to add transitional words
P.S. Please don't take anything personal, I just tried to help you in areas I thought you might benefit from my suggestions.
Also, I will like to thank you for editing my paper!